


Making (Hard) Light Of It

by JohnAmendAll



Category: Dracula (TV 1968), Red Dwarf
Genre: Canonical Character Death, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-19
Updated: 2016-08-19
Packaged: 2018-08-28 17:37:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8455654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JohnAmendAll/pseuds/JohnAmendAll
Summary: Vampire infestation? Ace Rimmer has it covered.





	

**Author's Note:**

> A 'Fifteen Characters' meme gave rise to the question: 'Ace Rimmer and Mina Harker split up. What was the last straw in the relationship?'
> 
> The premise of that question rather founders on the fact of Ace Rimmer; he doesn't go in for long-term relationships. He swoops in, flattens the villains, rescues the girl, gives her the best night of her life, and departs for further adventures, all before the opening credits roll.

"There is no pain," Lucy murmured, her mouth inches from Mina's neck. "Only desire..."

The sound of a gunshot echoed through the graveyard. Lucy collapsed, her body twitching, her lips drawing back to reveal her long fangs.

"Nasty business," a man's voice said. Mina tore her eyes away from Lucy — from what had been Lucy — to see a tall, blond stranger, clad in a strange silver jacket that glinted in the moonlight. He strode up to Mina and, without sentiment, turned her head this way and that.

"Good," he said. "Got to you in time. Otherwise I'd have had to shoot you too." He flourished his pistol. "Vampire pistol. Half-silvered UV laser sights, teak bullets." He spun round, and fired apparently at random; a cloaked figure dropped out of a tree with a ghastly scream. "D'you know who that was?"

"I... I suppose it was the Count," Mina managed. Her mind seemed suddenly clearer, as if an influence she hadn't been aware of had been abruptly removed.

"What, Count Dracula himself? Long time since I crossed paths with him. He must've forgotten me. Not to worry, angelheart, I've given him something to remember me by. D'you know if there are any more vamps hanging about?"

"I'm quite sure there are not," Mina said.

"Well, then." He tossed a tiny metal object into the air; it blossomed into a tent, just big enough for two, its interior filled with cushions, gentle light, sweet perfume and soft music. "Hard-light hologram. Meet you in there in, oh, five seconds?"

⁂

When Doctor Seward and Van Helsing found Mina the next morning, she was lying in the damp grass with her clothes laid on top of her, and a blissful smile on her face. A note in her hand was found to read 'Smoke me a kipper: I'll be back for breakfast,' in an unfamiliar hand. Of Count Dracula and Lucy, nothing was found, except for two neat piles of ash.

Mina herself, once she had recovered her senses, never divulged what had taken place in the graveyard. Beyond, of course, the words "What a guy."


End file.
